We often long for containment when we feel frustrated, angry, sad, or experiencing any emotion we find difficult to engage with. This is often due to the intolerable sensations and memories we associate with those feelings. Often, we attempt to distract ourselves or remove ourselves from experiencing these feelings, though that only helps with short-term relief. Those emotions still exist. In fact, they might even feel like they get bottled up until they might explode!
These intolerable emotions, thoughts, or memories can be like freshly brewed coffee you are not quite ready to drink. By putting the warm liquid in a thermos to safely carry without worry that it will burn you and return to it later, you are containing it without ignoring or dismissing it. Therapy can act as a real-life thermos.
Rather than ignoring or distracting ourselves from these feelings, it can be useful to create a space where these emotions can be and feel contained. In a contained space, we build tolerance, acceptance, and understanding. These intolerable emotions deserve a space where they can exist without being ignored. This way, they have a place where they can run free but with boundaries. This, within itself, can create a sense of catharsis, calm, and understanding that is deeply healing. This is not to say that we let lose the explosion wherever necessary, but rather the opposite. It is important to find a container that has firm boundaries but allows vast space for exploration.
These types of containers can be difficult to find in our day-to-day lives, as every space we enter seems to hold expectations of who we are, how to present, and how we should/should not act. This is what can be deeply powerful about therapy. Therapy is many things, and one of its roles is to be a container. A container where expectations, presumptions, norms, stereotypes, and stigma do not need to exist. It is space for exploration of the intolerable or the unknown that can hold and create space for self-discovery and freedom.
Therapy is a space where you can be and show up however you see fit and explore the intolerable. As you explore pain, suffering, loss, or the unknown, intolerable feelings will emerge. The therapeutic space is different than most others, as it seeks not to judge but to contain those emotions in a way that allows you to integrate them into your understanding of yourself. As the therapy container becomes more comfortable, you may find that container growing and seeping into other aspects of your life. What was once intolerable becomes tolerable, and the anguish and anxiety dissipate. Freeing you to know yourself, your relationship with others, and your world more authentically.
You might benefit from therapy if you have struggled to find a container for unwanted or intolerable emotions, thoughts, or memories. The therapy container gets to be what you need it to be and is dictated by your wants, needs, desires, and goals. If this sounds enticing, let’s schedule a free 30-minute consultation. I am now accepting new clients. Call 720.675.7123 or fill out the contact form, and someone from our admin team will contact you shortly.
Photo Credits:
Photo by Jonathan Farber on Unsplash
Photo by Paul Pastourmatzis on Unsplash
