Here we are in another contentious, stressful election season, not to mention all the other things going on in the world. How can it not affect our stress levels and mental well-being? During this time, I am reflecting on what I have learned while working behind the scenes in my role as a practice manager for an incredible team of therapists. How they have supported each other, their clients, and their communities has made a lasting impact on me and how I take care of myself, my family, and my community.
Here are a few of the things I have learned working with a group of therapists through many stressful events over the past eight years:
1. Self-care isn’t selfish; it also isn’t just a buzzword.
There are many articles on self-care with ideas and activities. I have published many blogs on self-care, written by this fantastic team of therapists. Why? Because it is absolutely true that you cannot support others or sustain yourself in stressful situations if you do not take care of yourself. I exercise, read, drink a hot cup of tea, mindfully walk in the woods, knit or find other things to do that are just for me, even if I only have 5 minutes.
I have gotten better at listening to my body and mind about what I need as I have done this. I have tried many different activities, found what suits me best, and modified it to make it mine. It has made it possible for me to reduce my anxiety, refill my cup, and be a better mom, partner, and human in general.

2. Boundaries are essential.
I have learned to hold my own, ask for things I need, and say no to things that I just don’t have the capacity or bandwidth to do. Naming and holding our own boundaries is as critical as ever. If we can communicate about boundaries in productive and straightforward ways, it allows us to communicate with each other, even if our perspectives differ.
3. Just get to “Good enough.”
It is okay to be where you are and do what you need to do to protect your peace. Allow yourself the flexibility to alter specific standards about things in your life when you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Allow yourself to take a break or not finish something as quickly as you’d like, or be kind to yourself if you have something awry, such as a messy house. I’m not saying “stop caring about anything,” but I am suggesting that cutting yourself some slack on certain things is okay. Give yourself a break. This leads me to my next point…
4. Meeting people where they are at, yourself included, makes everything more comfortable and manageable.
We have all been affected by the state of the world. All of us. I strive to give people the benefit of the doubt and to meet people with kindness and grace as much as possible. We all handle stress differently. Meeting others with kindness and compassion goes a long way. Validate how others are feeling. Check-in when people are acting out of character. Do this for yourself, too. Part of being supportive is doing our best to understand where people are in the first place and just acknowledging that that is okay. Empathy is key.
5. Community is valuable. Support is vital.
Stay in contact with your people. Reach out when you need social support. Your friends and family probably need you too.
6. Take a breath, take a break.
I am a yoga teacher, of course I am going to tell you to take a breath. Try it right now by taking five deep breaths into the space behind your navel. Relax your shoulders. Relax your jaw. I constantly remind myself to do this when I hear the stress creeping up in my voice, when I am talking to my family, or when I just can’t focus on my work anymore. Inhale. Exhale. Refocus.
7. Flexibility is imperative.
As things shift and move, stay flexible. It is easy to get caught up in all of the what-ifs and go down a rabbit hole of worry about what is looming. All we can do is what we can do. Trust yourself, lean into your decisions when appropriate, and adapt when necessary. Reframing thoughts has helped me do this a lot. If you are stuck on something and it feels like a negative dread, try to reframe it. Think of it in another light. Ask yourself, “What do I need in this moment to stay in the present? What practical things can I do to make this easier and more manageable? Where can I shift and let go so I am not so stressed?” etc.
8. Recognize the good, treasured moments in a tough time.
If you are on a walk and see a beautiful scene, take a mental photograph you can pull up later when you need a pick me up. Or take an actual photograph that you can look back on. Look for the positive moments. They don’t have to be huge but try to stay present in those moments when you notice you are feeling good. Notice exactly how you feel, notice little things around you, what do you see, hear, smell? Breathe extra life into these moments and participate in them.
9. Someone else’s suffering doesn’t negate your own.
Yes, you do probably know someone who is having a worse time than you, but that doesn’t invalidate what you are feeling or grieving. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Ask for help when you need it. Take time to process how you are feeling when you can.
Final Thoughts
Implementing these things will not make you perfect at dealing with stress. I am by no means perfect at these skills, but I am managing my anxiety, feelings, and overwhelm in a way that I would not have been able to achieve previously. AND, the best news is that these are skills. Skills can be learned, practiced, and strengthened. I am pretty sure that, if nothing else, we can use this time to strengthen ourselves and learn to thrive through anything.
About the Author
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