Pet Loss and Healing: What Marley Taught Me

The importance of an open heart.
Finding joy in the small things.
Angels and spirit helpers come in many forms.
The power of presence and quiet companionship.
How to be steady and loving, even in silence.
That grief is love with nowhere to go—and that it’s okay to feel it deeply.

These are just a few of the things I learned from our beloved Marley. And two years ago, we had to say goodbye. She was 16 years old and lived a beautiful, full life. As many people with pets would say, Marley wasn’t just a dog—she was part of our family. She was also the first pup I had the privilege of loving, something I am grateful for every single day. 

The role she played in our lives was profound. Her calm presence, deep wisdom, and unconditional love created a center of gravity in our family. She was a gentle soul who offered exactly what was needed, often before we even knew we needed it.

My husband met Marley during a time of loss in his life. She showed up when he needed her most, as if divinely placed. I remember saying back then that I “didn’t know what to think about dogs,” but that sentiment disappeared the moment I met her. I quickly realized the kind of connection a dog offers is unlike anything else: pure, nonjudgmental, and deeply loyal. The kind of love you receive from a dog—and the love you give—is transformative.

Writing about her now brings tears. The pain of saying goodbye during her final days was immense—almost too big to describe. We were lucky to have her little sister, Tia, who helped carry us through those early, aching days of grief.

Why Pet Loss Is So Hard—and So Often Overlooked

 Grieving the loss of a pet can be incredibly intense, yet it’s a kind of grief that is often minimized or misunderstood. If you’ve never had a deep bond with an animal, it can be easy to overlook how devastating that loss can feel. But for many of us, pets are family. They are our companions through daily routines, our comfort in hard moments, and our silent witnesses to life’s biggest transitions.

In a world that often feels disconnected and overwhelming, our pets are grounding. They offer predictability, joy, and a sense of meaning. When their life here is over, it’s not just the loss of a pet—it’s the loss of a relationship, a daily presence, and a deep emotional connection.

There’s also something uniquely destabilizing about the quiet that follows their absence. The empty space where they used to sleep. The lack of a familiar bark or tail wag when you walk in the door. These subtle shifts carry a weight that’s hard to name.

Because there are few cultural rituals for mourning pets, it can be easy to feel alone in that grief. We may find ourselves questioning if it’s “too much” to feel this way or worry that others won’t understand. But pet loss is real grief. And it deserves the same tenderness and validation as any other kind of mourning.

How to Begin Healing From Pet Loss

Healing from pet loss is a process—one that deserves time, gentleness, and space. Here are a few things that have helped me and others I’ve worked with:

• Honor the relationship. Create a ritual, write a letter, or make a small altar in your pet’s memory.
• Talk to them. Over the past two years, I’ve found myself talking to Marley during a hike on our favorite trail, I still feel her there. Visiting a favorite place you shared with them—like a trail, a park, or tree where you used to sit together—can be a meaningful way to feel close. Writing her letters has also helped me process the grief and stay connected to her memory.
• Talk about them. Share stories with people who knew them—or even those who didn’t. Speaking their name keeps their memory alive.
• Let yourself grieve. Your timeline is valid. Some days will feel better than others. That’s okay. And there is no such thing as “It’s been a long time, I should be over it by now.”
• Notice what arises. Often, the loss of a pet brings up other unprocessed grief. Be curious and compassionate with whatever surfaces.

Carrying the Love Forward

I think about Marley every day. Her gentleness. Her loyalty. The calm and joy she brought to our home. I hope we gave her a good life, because she certainly gave us one. And in many ways, her memory still guides me—especially in how I try to show up for others.

Grieving Marley also helped me realize the incredible role our pets play in our lives. I truly believe she was some sort of angel—a spirit helper who came into our lives exactly when we needed her. I still feel that connection when I’m on our favorite hike, or sitting by the tree where we used to hang together. Talking to her has been a way to keep that thread of love and presence alive, and it has provided much solace when things have been hard over the last two years. Just as when she showed up in our lives, I believe she left when she knew we’d be okay. And truthfully, I feel that she is still here with us. 

If you’ve lost a pet, please know this: Your grief is valid. You are not alone. And love like that doesn’t disappear. It stays with us—in the quiet moments, in the way we care, in the open-heartedness we bring to the world because of them.

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