Why Do I Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns?

Breaking Free from Painful Cycles and Build Deeper Connections

Feeling Stuck in the Same Arguments?

You’re in a relationship, but no matter how much you and your partner care about and love each other, the same painful arguments keep happening. You don’t understand why you feel so hurt, angry, or distant—or why you react the way you do.

You’ve tried to change, but no matter how much you want to, you keep repeating the same behaviors. Instead of feeling close, you feel stuck—frustrated, misunderstood, and maybe even questioning whether this relationship can work. You’re exhausted from feeling unseen, unheard, and disconnected.

Or maybe you’re struggling to find a lasting relationship. You want connection, but dating feels exhausting, and relationships never seem to work out the way you hope. You find yourself attracting the wrong partners or losing interest quickly. Perhaps you get close to someone, only to pull away—or you keep choosing people who don’t fully choose you.

You wonder why it seems so easy for others to find love while you’re stuck repeating the same frustrating cycle.

Why Do These Patterns Keep Happening?

No matter how hard you try, the same relationship struggles keep showing up, and you don’t know how to change them.

Deep down, you might be asking yourself:

• “Am I too much? Not enough?”
• “What if I’m unlovable?”
• “Why do my needs always seem to push people away?”

Maybe you feel like asking for more will scare your partner off. Or you find yourself blaming them—wishing they’d just change so you wouldn’t feel this way. But no matter what you do, the same painful dynamics keep playing out.

The truth is, these patterns aren’t random. They’re often rooted in old emotional wounds, unconscious beliefs, and nervous system responses shaped by past experiences. And the good news? They don’t have to define you.

You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck

Many people come to therapy focused on what their partner is doing wrong—what they need to change. But real transformation happens when you shift the focus inward.

That doesn’t mean blaming yourself. It means getting curious. What if, instead of feeling like you’re at the mercy of these patterns, you could finally understand why they show up—and learn how to shift them?

When you begin to explore your emotional responses—not just logically but deeply—you can stop blaming yourself or your partner and start recognizing what’s really happening beneath the surface. You can learn to trust your feelings, express your needs without fear, and build the kind of relationship where you feel safe, valued, and chosen.

Real change happens when you shift the way you relate—not just to your partner, but to yourself.

How Therapy Can Help You Break Free from Old Patterns

I help individuals and couples untangle the patterns keeping them stuck so they can move toward deeper connection. My approach blends deep emotional work with practical tools to help you feel grounded, heard, and safe in your relationship.

Through modalities like:

• EMDR and Brainspotting to heal past wounds that shape your reactions

• Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to deepen emotional security

• Somatic Work and Parts Work to address nervous system responses and inner conflicts

I help you not just understand your pain, but actually heal it.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

• • If you’re ready to stop feeling stuck and start creating a relationship where you feel safe, valued, and understood, let’s talk.

Photo Credits

Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

Photo by Meriç Dağlı on Unsplash

Interested in Learning More? 

If you are interested in learning more about working with Dorothy, our specialized team is here to help. You are not alone. Schedule an introductory call or contact us below.