October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Many parents feel very silenced and isolated in their loss, but the likelihood that you know someone who has lost a pregnancy or infant is quite high. Paradoxically, our society tends to ostracize the losses we deem the most devastating because we are so phobic and avoidant of loss. That means that most parents who have lost a baby end up feeling alone. No two losses are alike, but many parents who suffer the loss of a child report the following:
- They are affronted by well-meaning but often damaging advice and messages from others
- They feel alone in their loss and grief journey
- There is a lack of support in the community for people when they suffer a loss
What can you do to help honor this loss for parents out there who are grieving? Here is a wonderful blog if you are wondering how to support a friend who has lost a pregnancy or baby:
How can you help in the movement to bring more support to grieving parents? Participate in the “International Wave of Light” remembrance. On October 15th, which is the Worldwide Remembrance Day, light a candle at 7pm in your time zone. The idea is that a wave of light will circle the globe to honor the “Babies among the stars” as the movement calls it.
If you yourself are struggling after a loss, please know that you are not alone. I work with many couples who are grieving this unimaginable loss and I lead a therapeutic support group at The Catalyst Center on Thursday nights with the next session of the group beginning on October 24th, 2019.